I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
