I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
