You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My vagina just clenched in fear
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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