a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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