I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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