I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
