he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
