yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
