Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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