i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
