Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
