So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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