So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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