at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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