worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
