You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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