You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
