I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
