We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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