sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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