My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
