Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
