You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
