You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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