So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
