maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
