Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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