she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It all started with a game of naked twister.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
