went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I don't deserve a penis
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
