Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
