this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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