You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
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My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
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Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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