I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
