hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Randomize
