He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
