Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
