Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
