Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
