Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
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I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
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i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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