To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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