you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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