dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
whose ass print is on the piano?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
