Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Randomize
