I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
