I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
