Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
