summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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