i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Less talking, more tequila
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
