All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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