ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Randomize
