my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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