maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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