so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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