can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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