david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
