He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
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I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
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He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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