There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
