this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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