Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
