Define "chronic" masturbator.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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