Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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